GROUCHO MARX Quotes

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

Groucho Marx
life 

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“Humor is reason gone mad.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”

Groucho Marx
humor 

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”

Groucho Marx
humor