WOODY ALLEN Quotes

“There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.”

Woody Allen
life 

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

Woody Allen
life 

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”

Woody Allen
life 

“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”

Woody Allen
life 

“Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!”

Woody Allen
life 

“I read in self-defense.”

Woody Allen
life 

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

Woody Allen
humor 

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

Woody Allen
humor 

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

Woody Allen
humor 

“To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”

Woody Allen
humor